It's a Town Full of Losers and I'm Pulling Out of Here to Win

This weekend, I stumbled upon something. A curb. I fell. When you have massive feet, it tends to happen more often than not. However, I also stumbled upon a thought. They are rare, but god damn when I catch one, LOOK OUT. Anyways, I was in the bathtub thinking about my future (which is normally where I think of important matters such as this) and realized that at 23, I have not yet accomplished much of what I want to in my life. Granted, 23 years is a small sample size (hopefully...) of the rest of my life, but for better or worse, I have come to embrace the fact that I have absolutely MASSIVE dreams, ambitions and goals that I set for myself. A lot of people will tell you that even the craziest or most high-shooting of dreams are not possible to reach, but to them, I say a simple yet courteous fuck off. The people that tell you that you can't do anything you set your mind to are those that gave up on their goals. I have no qualms with saying my goals are possibly a bit larger than most, but who cares? Why the hell should that stop anyone? I want to one day fill up a 65,000 stadium consistently and play my music for people. I want to headline Lollapalooza. I want to have a family. I want to own a monkey. (Some of these are harder than others...monkeys are expensive as shit, man). But you can bet your ass that I am going to do whatever the hell I have to in order to make sure all of those happen. So some nights, instead of going out, I write. I listen to music all day every day not to take ideas but to remind myself of what I don't want the music to be. Will there be struggles? Of course. Will it be easy? Not in any way. But, if you're weird like me, that challenge alone will excite you enough. It's cliched as shit, but it's the hard that makes it worth it. All big dreams are a pain in the ass to get to, but that's what makes finally reaching them all the more awesome. You worked for something. You fought for something. You gotta taste the sour to taste the sweet. I implore all of you: do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do something. You can do ANYTHING that you set your mind to. If you want to be a famous chef, with ALOT of hard work and a bit of luck/timing, you CAN be a famous chef. Want to be a to be a paleontologist? Read every goddamn book on dinosaurs, study everything you can, learn from the best and do whatever you have to and it CAN happen. Support your friends with their dreams. Never tell them they can't do something. Help them with anything you can. They are your friends for a reason, and you never know how they may help you one day. Anything in the world is possible if you simply work for it and get some luck. When we live in a society that is failing like crazy, those that are willing to put in the work and willing to do whatever it takes will be the ones to have the best things happen for them. As they say, only the strong survive. Nothing is ever guaranteed in life, but I can promise you that if you want something and you work your ass off for it, good things WILL happen. Maybe not in ways you expected, but sometimes the best things in life are the things you least expected. Some are ok with a normal life. Some are ok with the typical 9-5 day and going home to the suburban house. Nothing wrong with that in any way. As for the rest of us, I want something extraordinary. I will not settle for anything less. I want a fast paced life. I want to see the world. I want to tour for millions of people. I want to experience everything I can in life. And because that is what I want, I'm going to work my ass off to make sure I do every single one of those things. My dreams/goals/ambitions are absolutely massive. 99% of the world will say they are too big. My thoughts? I'll see you guys from the front of the stage, guitar in hand with a big grin on my face.

Illusions. Tricks are what whores do for money.

Random thoughts of today:

• Strawberries, while delicious, pose a problem when done. Where do you put the tops? Certainly not in your mouth.
• My hair hasn't been this long in ages. When my beard comes in more, I will officially get the homeless man look I have so often strived for. 
• This has been a real shitty 48 hours. If it continues this way, I'm doing the only thing I know that cheers me up: streaking down Sheffield Avenue.
• Christmas is just awesome. Makes you feel all warm and shit. Except it's colder than balls outside.
• I keep forgetting to bring my lunch to work. I can't tell you how sick I am of buying mini cereal boxes at the convenience store for lunch.
• Weekends should happen more often.
• I keep forgetting that my brother is going to be a husband next week. Always thought he would make a better wife, but that is neither here nor there.

That should dooze it.

Broken Clocks

I’ve never been one

To grasp at blind faith

It’s always hard for me to hold on to

Something with no face

You tell me patience is key

But it’s starting to wear thin

Everyone wants to slow things down

But I always dive right in

The fault lies within me

And

If timing is everything

Then my clock must be broken

I’m tired of waiting in line

When will this goddamned door open?

Knock knock knock my head against the wall

Take two steps then we stall

We need to gain some speed

I know your trust I have to gain

And you say it’ll come to those who stay

Looks like you’ll be seeing a lot of me

But nothing is guaranteed

And

If timing is everything

Then my clock must be broken

I’m tired of waiting in line

When will this goddamned door open?

I’d rather burn in Hell

Than become another one

That gave away his soul to sell

I’ll do this my way

Cause at the end of the day
The lights will fade anyways

I'd Say About 50/50

Last night, after a delicious Tapas feast, Lauren and I decided to go see the film "50/50". I went in expecting a pretty funny movie about a dude with cancer (that sentence alone makes me feel like a horrible human). Several tear-ups later (from her and I), we walked out of the movie, completely and pleasantly surprised with the film. It WAS funny, and some parts had me howling laughing. But the main body of this movie is a very touching and, at times, heartbreaking. The main character is played by Joesph Gordon Levitt (at very least, an Oscar nomination is necessary here, folks) and at 27, he is diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer on his spine. As the thoughts swirl in his head of what the hell is really happening, he starts to look from the outside in as to who and what in his life is important. Afterwards, I started to think about what I would do if I was put in that position. I'm only 23, so what would that be like if a doctor told me I had the dreaded C-word? (Nope...not that word). A few years back, when I was having horrible stomach pains, on one of the visits to the doctor, I remember very well him saying, "and we will screen for cancer, as well". I was only 19 at that time, and that word hits you like a ton of fucking brick. You automatically start assuming it's the end and get very scared. LUCKILY, there's nothing there and I avoided that, but what if I hadn't? So, last night, I thought hard about what I would do at 23 if someone told me I had it. Well, obviously, first off, I'd fight it like hell. But, I know for a fact that the notions of "limitations" would be gone. There would be no more fear. No more hesitation. I would say whatever the hell I wanted. Wouldn't be afraid to do anything. I would let those that matter to me know how much I love them and am glad they're around. HERE'S THE THING:

Why does it take something as awful as that for people to act that way? Why does it take the fear of death or sickness to eradicate all limitations in life? Imagine if we all tried that mindset for a week. Just one week. We said what we felt, always. No filter. We did what we loved without fear of failure. We told people we loved them every chance we could. We laughed our asses off. We didn't hold grudges. Even if you live to be 100, life is a short thing. It is NOT something to be wasted. I say we try it out. Don't be afraid to be happy. Don't afraid to try new things. Don't be afraid to give people a chance. We don't know how long we're here for, and sometimes, we can't control that. What we CAN control is what we do while we are and how much fun we choose to have. Just don't wait until it's too late. Go hug someone. Go make someone laugh. Go help someone. Go ask someone on a date. Go swimming with no clothes on. Life is like being invited to the best party ever. Sure, a fight or two will break out, and some may drink too much, but you will ALWAYS wake up saying, "Now THAT was awesome".

Dog Chasing a Tail

One thing that really bothers me about people in our society, our age specifically, is the utter lack of fight and passion people seem to have. Nobody is willing to put in the work anymore. Nobody is willing to go through a little bit of Hell to get to the good shit. It seems as if as soon as things get a bit rough, people just cower and walk the fuck away. Who taught these people to live? Where did we pick up these horrible habits? People seem to get trapped in this notion that what OTHERS do is what they have to do, whether it's in a job, a relationship, a friendship, shit, even with a sandwich. Where is the drive? Where is the passion? I was taught to fight for what you want and to never give up. For better or worse, that's how I work. I don't walk away from tough situations. I don't back down. The competition factor is gone. People just...give up. Lose hope. There's no optimism. Don't let what others do dictate what YOU do. If you don't want to do a 9-5 and want to pursue art, fuckin' do it. You want that girl? Fight for her and show her how much you want to be with her. You want that sandwich? Eat the bitch! Fight back! You all deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for! Don't fall victim to complacency. Don't fall victim to laziness. Be passionate. Love hard. Do what makes you happy. Kiss. Dance. Rock. Fuck. All at once is totally cool. Now where is my guitar...?

Bright Lights of Montreal

We had it all Had the world on a string You let me fall For everything It must be easy To have all the control Had me under your spell But now I'm ready to roll Think I'll always be there Forevermore One day you'll turn the corner Open the door And I'm Gone Lights out on the show Don't come looking for me I'll be a thousand miles up the road You had a chance And now you're in a free fall I'll restart under the bright lights Of Montreal We'll see who's laughing When your ego takes a hit Where will you go when you know You can't pay for shit Nothing you say now Will ever faze me Cause you can fix a broken heart But you can't fix crazy I'm gone Lights out on the show Don't come looking for me I'll be a thousand miles up the road You had a chance And now you're in a free fall I'll restart under the bright lights Of Montreal North of the border is calling my Name Montreal and chicago They're one in the same North of the border is calling my Name Montreal and Chicago Ill be back someday

Why Aren't People Allowed to Wear White After Labor Day?

Things I've learned today, and it's only 1:00pm:

1) Falling asleep in one set of clothes and waking up in a new set of clothes can make things real awkward. Especially when the first thing you see is one of your dogs staring at you, and most likely judging you.

2) Sinus infections are the sickness of the Devil. They beat you mercilessly, and fight until the bitter end.

3) Looks like mama Kmac had a bit too much to drink last night. Classic.

4) Red wine makes the world go 'round. I think I'm going to have a wine weekend, where the only liquid I drink is wine. I look forward to a week long hangover.

5) I need to write a book. Just about random things I've learned. Or advice. Or cooking tips. Or my take on sexual situations (still don't know what this sex thing is, though...)